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From: ????
Mysterious Poster
Greetings, fellow followers of the four kings. It is I, Angel, with an important update. As I understand it, my associate Shutterbug has a message for you. Go ahead, Shutterbug.

Thankyou, Leader Angel. Angel, did you know that I am a very accomplished computer hacker?

I did not.

Oh, I am a hacker most 1337. And it may not surprise you to find that I have used these superior hacking abilities in our ongoing quest for more information about the elusive Four Kings.
As you no doubt know, information about the current activities of the Kings has been scarce of late as they have kept mainly to themselves. However, I recently managed to discover some transcripts of a conversation held among the Four Kings using a private chatroom. With so many of them, it is only logical that they would turn to technology as a way to keep people up-to-date, and it is fortunate that we have been able to snag a bit of their conversation for our own benefit.

Let's watch...

jedojedo: I hope everyone finds the place ok
jedojedo: but of course theyre late
jedojedo: and they call me unreliable
BAMFite: Who are you talking to
jedojedo: Oh, is that you Nephrite?
jedojedo: I didn't realise you were online.
BAMFite: So you were just talking to yourself
jedojedo: Well it's pretty common, on the internet.
BAMFite: And that is supposed to make you feel better
LastSamurai: LastSamurai
LastSamurai: goldilocks
BAMFite: Huh
jedojedo: Kunzite?
LastSamurai: lastsamurai
jedojedo: It's ok
LastSamurai: Goldilocks
jedojedo: Kunzite you're already logged in
LastSamurai: Oh!
LastSamurai: Hello, Jadeite.
LastSamurai: ... Nephrite?
BAMFite: Yo
BAMFite: Sup
LastSamurai: I apologise for the confusion, I'm on this
LastSamurai: iPhone, thing
LastSamurai: and it's a bit different to how you showed me before.
BAMFite: Your password is goldilocks
BAMFite: Haaahahahaha
BAMFite: You faggot
zoiboi: sum1 say my name
jedojedo: Oh, hello Zoisite
jedojedo: Thanks for showing up. /:
zoiboi: i was here b4 u dipshit
zoiboi: how long were u gonna talk 2 urself
zoiboi: mr. johnny nofriends
zoiboi: lol
LastSamurai: "Lol"?
zoiboi: it doesnt mean lolita
zoiboi: srry 2 disappoint
jedojedo: It stands for 'laugh out loud'
LastSamurai: I see.
zoiboi: yeah ive been learning me sum internet
zoiboi: check out this link i found
LastSamurai: What is it?
jedojedo: NO DON'T CLICK IT
jedojedo: It's goatse
jedojedo: dammit too late
zoiboi: lollllllllllllmao
LastSamurai: That is THE most disgusting thing that I have ever had the misfortune of seeing.
zoiboi: i know for a fact thats not true
jedojedo: ...
jedojedo: What
LastSamurai: For all of our sake's, let's just ignore him from now on.
BAMFite: let's
zoiboi: oh so u dont want 2 see these nudes of venus
LastSamurai: I know you're lying.
BAMFite: Shut up let the man speak
zoiboi: im not lying she did it like a year ago 2 pay for her pachinko debts
zoiboi: there right here c
LastSamurai: I find it highly unlikely that she would do such a thing even if she did need the m
LastSamurai: OH for the LOVE OF GOD Zoisite!
zoiboi: LOL u fell for it again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
zoiboi: haaaahahahahahaha i cant believe u
zoiboi: the link wasnt even different
zoiboi: u perv
BAMFite: Hahahahahahaha excellent
VillainFormerlyKnownAsP: what the hell is that thing
VillainFormerlyKnownAsP: was he in some sort of hilarious and unfortunate accident
VillainFormerlyKnownAsP: i will have to ask saphir about this later
VillainFormerlyKnownAsP: he probably knows more about this than i do
jedojedo: Wait, who the hell are you?
VillainFormerlyKnownAsP: dimande obviously
jedojedo: ...
jedojedo: I don't know who that is
VillainFormerlyKnownAsP: i am the man who moved into your apartment the other day
VillainFormerlyKnownAsP: the handsome one
jedojedo: Oh
jedojedo: k.
LastSamurai: What's the story with your username? P?
VillainFormerlyKnownAsP: i ran out of room you simpleton
jedojedo: Wow, you are surprisingly up-to-date with modern pop culture.
VillainFormerlyKnownAsP: pop what
jedojedo: ... n/m
jedojedo: Look, Dimande, we have some secret business here to talk about
jedojedo: that we can't really discuss if you're here
VillainFormerlyKnownAsP: wonderful
jedojedo: No, I really need you to go, like, now
VillainFormerlyKnownAsP: make me
jedojedo: Ok?
Moderator jedojedo has booted VillainFormerlyKnownAsP out of the chat.
zoiboi: hahahaha pwnd
jedojedo: Alright, to business
jedojedo: ... can you guys teach me how to pick up women
zoiboi: ...
zoiboi: lol
zoiboi: lolling 4ever
LastSamurai: Oh, for goodness's sake, Jadeite, I thought you had something more serious you wanted to talk to us about.
LastSamurai: The things I've seen today warrant the end of the world at least.
jedojedo: I'm serious!
jedojedo: It's embarrassing, but you guys have it easy!
jedojedo: It sucks to ask you guys for help
jedojedo: especially you
BAMFite: Who
jedojedo: but I need all the tips I can get
jedojedo: Rei's vicious.
jedojedo: Even watching over old episodes with her in it have yielded nothing
BAMFite: Oh yeah i've been meaning to ask you
BAMFite: I've been doing the same myself recently because jupiter hasn't been responding to any of my wooing so obviously she has some issues that i need to find the answer to
BAMFite: And i saw a couple of episodes with you in it
BAMFite: disguised
BAMFite: and i just have to know
BAMFite: are you entirely sure you're not queer
jedojedo: Huh???
BAMFite: All i'm saying is that might be the reason why she isn't digging you
BAMFite: maybe she has her gay-dar rei-dar set on "purple trackpants"
zoiboi: still lolling
zoiboi: its true
zoiboi: they were hot out of the closet
BAMFite: Hahahahahahahaha
jedojedo: Kunzite help me!!!!
LastSamurai: Maybe the reason you aren't doing very well with them is because you are both treating women like a video game.
BAMFite: Well of course we are
BAMFite: That's what all the manuals say to do
BAMFite: Push the right buttons
jedojedo: Spend equal time on all attributes
BAMFite: Store her cartridge in a clean dry area
LastSamurai: Women aren't like video games, they can't be "worked out" with a simple solution any more than you or I can.
BAMFite: I dunno man i am pretty sure it is not hard to "work me out"
jedojedo: ... no, Nephrite, I think you're wrong
jedojedo: if Kunzite is anything to go by, then setting off Rei's gaydar would do be a big favour.
zoiboi: true dat
LastSamurai: I'm afraid I don't quite follow.
zoiboi: chicks like venus
zoiboi: dig guys who like guys
jedojedo: You're more than just 'metrosexual', you're full-blown... full-blown.
BAMFite: Your hair is nicer than hers
jedojedo: Going on a date with you, for Minako, is like watching a live enactment of her favourite yaoi manga.
jedojedo: You're wish fulfillment.
LastSamurai: You're full of it.
jedojedo: You'll see!
LastSamurai: If you have nothing of any actual consequence to ask me, then I will take my leave now
LastSamurai: I have more important things to do.
BAMFite: Like your nails
LastSamurai has left the chat.
jedojedo: Nephrite, how about you?
BAMFite: I'm not doing your nails bro
jedojedo: No, I mean, have you got any tips for dating Rei?
BAMFite: None that i'm telling you
BAMFite: Do you think it's been easy trying to pitch all my woo at jupiter
BAMFite: The woman has an anti-handsome forcefield around her or something
BAMFite: The only advantage i have in this bet is that your doing worse than i am
BAMFite: And it's gonna stay that way
BAMFite has left the chat.
jedojedo: ...
zoiboi: ...
jedojedo: ...
zoiboi: ... buy her flowers
jedojedo: What?
zoiboi: cassablancas
zoiboi: just a hunch
zoiboi: johnny purplepants
zoiboi has left the chat.
jedojedo has left the chat.

I knew someone had sneaked into the computer lab after I used it!! Some 'hacker', I forgot to log out!!

I can fully attest that that person was most definitely not me and must have been some other, inferior hacker.

This is why we don't automatically log our chats.

Also: pay attention to what Zoisite told you, Jadeite.

Aw, Zoisite is trying to be helpful!

How... out of character.

Zoisite is trying to help...?
The world must be coming to an end.

Zoi must feel guilty because of his egg XD

Yeah for reals, fuck his egg. I finally found it and now I feel like throwing it off a bridge.

I think I lost it at "pitch all my woo at jupiter"!

Oh God I could read this all day long. And I am!

Zoisite! You take to the internet very well- you springing the goatse on Kunzite just made my entire week.

Jadeite, try risking your life to save Rei- it always seems to make her happy with Yuichiro. I wouldn't suggest actually endangering yourself, but you could always stage something suitably elaborate. I'm sure nothing would go wrong with a plan like that...

... Boys, boys, boys. XD Kunzite's right, Jadeite, Nephrite. Women are not video games, and there is no handy dandy walkthrough to follow. You might try taking Zoisite's advice though. Obviously, he has the best idea of what a woman might want, which is rather scary for you two. Because if it means you might lose to Zoisite? Will you ever live it down?

Thank you, Shutterbug. For this fantastic little tidbit, we are forever in your debt. ♥

Oh of COURSE Zoisite knew, he was there for that story. Very sneaky. I enjoy how technologically inept Kunzite is.

I admit, while Kunzite is technologically inept, at least he knows his grammar. *eyes Zoisite sideways* Sorry Zoisite, but spell check is apparently not your best friend. *winks* Though you are still King of common sense... and fashion.

Oh yes, and apparently biological warfare as well, considering your cooking. *lol*

Oh god I still can't get past Kunzite's password! Goldilocks! Snortttt. Hahahaha.


Can anybody clue me in why Kunzite has a big-boobed lady as his userpic? It's bugging me really bad.

Because Jadeite set it for me and I don't know how to change it.

I have to say... the person in Angel's icon looks suspiciously like Ami (Mercury).

So, if that is correct... Shutterbug would be Minako (Venus). She was fairly inept adept at stalking the 3 Lights.

I was thinking the same thing =O

Zoisite, the fact that you actually answer to 'You faggot' worries me. It's like my sister answering to white girl or me to ho. You speak the truth though. You could win the contest, if you'd try.

: D

Johnny doesn't wear purple pants!

He wears a purple bandanna : D

(I'm an idiot..)

Whee, I'm a month late! I liked Jadeite's purple tracksuit. :( Also, he should listen to Zoi on this one . . . and only this one.